10. Blaming your farts on me...not funny!
9. Yelling at me for barking. I'm a DOG!
8. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is it anyway?
7. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
6. Any haircut that involves ribbons or bows.
5. The fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whooooo ooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
4. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
3. Getting upset when I sniff crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
2. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
1. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
Hope you enjoyed the humor, and hope no humans were offended!